(I in no way own the above GIF I found it on the internet)
“You didn’t go after her!?” a group of shocked young women sang together in chorus. Sitting still and bewildered-looking back has his inquisitive companions as they bombarded him questions. “What happened?” One lady queried. “Why did you let her go?” Asked another. “Why don’t you go after her?” Chirped in a third. “You were perfect together,” exclaimed a fourth. There he sat stuttering and stammering not knowing how to answer any of their questions.
Finally, I spoke up after managing to quiet down my companions of the Sunday afternoon ‘book club’. “Ladies quiet down our honorary book club member,” I began “since you asked for our help, I think you better start at the beginning.” Nervously my dear friend cleared his throat “ I don’t how to begin. I met her by accident, as you well know, like in some dumb girly movie. And from that day we have been together almost every day. Then I let her slip away because I became distracted. I let other things get in my way; I let myself become obsessed with things that would purposely distance us. She tried everything to make me happy, but the more she did the further I pulled away. So one day she finally had enough and left and now I just don’t know what to do.” It was here that our friend began to silently cry and it was here that he was both comforted and berated by a gaggle of women. After a few more moments of whaling and gnashing of teeth, we finally asked him if he went after her. Here my friend looked up at me tears dripping down his face and stared blankly at me. “What does that mean?” he asked with a sniffle. Again the ladies began shouting “How could you not know what this means? Go after!?”
Again my friend stared at me as if to silently beg for an explanation. For as kind and as sweet as my friend can be he is completely clueless and afraid of women. “But she told me she never wanted to see me again,” he said. “ It is important to be respectful,” I said, “But if you really care for her you will tell her how you feel and say you’re sorry for being a big jerk.” “But” my friend started to say but I quickly cut him off “No,” I said, “ if you want her back you are going to have to do something or she will never come back.” I should have never uttered those last words because the next thing I knew I was coerced into a scheme to win back the love of his life. Great I thought as I was hanging upside-down from a tree in a black sweater, boots, and black leggings, my hair in braids and I had a pair of binoculars spying on the lady in question, watching her every move. There she sat inside a coffee shop chugging her fifth Frappuccino in two hours as her tear-stained face tried desperately to read a book. Just as I thought about climbing down the tree to go confront her, about my friend, who has been pining away for her at home. I heard the rustling of leaves below me. Looking down from the tree to the ground I saw it large with gleaming eyes and sharp teeth was a large dog. Attached to the dog was a cop. I knew at that point no matter what I said I was going “downtown”. There I sat in my cell looking over my shoulder as my cell mate Big Lucy creepily eyed me up and down picking her black teeth with a rusty knife as she gave me that certain gleam in her eye.
Big Lucy began to make her way over to me just as I heard keys turn in our cell door. “Thank you, God,” I thought, “ As I looked behind me to see my friend, his girlfriend and the entire ladies Sunday afternoon ‘book club’ to rescue me. Apparently, my friend’s girlfriend had spotted me in the tree and thinking I was a stalker called the police. Luckily for me my trusty book club followed me and was waiting in another tree just in case I did something “stupid like getting arrested”. They then called our friend and his girlfriend and told them of my woes. They then went down and badgered the officer until he let me go. However, my arrest brought the Lovebirds back together. Just a little word to the wise Gentleman, if your lady leaves and you know that she cares for you then, by all means, go after her. She may just want you to, don’t risk her not coming back. And save your friend from getting put in jail for trying to help your love life.
Until next time when I return to more stories and literary talk, I remain as always respectfully,
Cheyenne E. Mitchell